Wednesday, August 2, 2017

To deal with a difficult Day " Thoughts of a wondering mind"

     I want to share a story tonight as today was a plethora of emotional ups and downs.  Now, while I know we all go through these kinds of days, I feel like for many of us they get the best of us, and on this particular day I decided not to Let that happen, but I digress so here is the's a bit long so hold on.
     I awoke to the bedroom fan wheezing away at top speed, windows open and me shuttering under a singular blanket as the night before had been a sweltering hot sauna.  I was ill prepared for the chill the morning had brought and the absence of my "heater" honey Brett.  
     Dry eyed and slightly dehydrated, I blinked myself awake and reached for my water bottle for some sort of relief from this feeling.  Moments even minuets went by as the reality of the need to wake up at the most unusual time of day for me (6:30am 😆) swept over me and I found myself walking around my room like a zombie of the apocalypse trying to get dressed to attend not one but two appointments before 10am, which if you know me, is a act of God in and of itself.  
     Dressed and ready to go, I head out to my car only to remember that I may not have enough fuel to get to the first destination.  Might I add that when I had parked my car the night before I did not have this crammed schedule I was now trying to make, so gas can added to the trunk of my little bmw, I venture out to fuel up my car before attacking the appointments ahead of me.  Of course this creates an irritation in me as I Soooo love mornings on the norm, NOT!
     Relieved as I pull into the gas station and fuel up my car, I pull out to with a sense of relief feeling I can take the day and win!
     Stage right social media.....destine to muck that up, but I jump ahead a bit.
     I pull upto the first stop and walk a job Tydoga is starting.  Its upto me to find what we can salvage and sell and what is garbage.  I whole heartedly tackle this while trying to keep those around me from distraction..... it's morning time and I have a job to do so let's get it done.  One of my sons and the son of a friend are on the job,  Asking for direction and prioritizing.  In steps the new guy..... literally hired last week.  I swear every time someone starts to talk this guy stops working.....: I want to pull my hair out and scream "can you not focus?!?!?"  All I can do is step away and tell the other guys "don't talk around him or he will stop working.  Someone fix that guy".  
     I then Realize why it may not be a good idea to have me on a job site every day.... Daydreaming tra-la-la's will be annihilated by me if I stay.   And now stage right social media bs.  
     I had posted a thought that had occurred to me.  I have a lot of thoughts.  I call them "Thoughts of a wondering mind"
     A friend posted a reply that was not connected to what I had posted but it referred to some drama a former friend was creating because they were unable to see beyond their owe view and were challenging my families integrity..... this is where my day got ugly and my thoughts got dark!  Let me just iterate.... we are not perfect nor are we right all the time,  but we try with everything that we are to see not just our own side of things but others as well, and what that usually equates to is us losing.  Most people only see their side.  And on this particular day, at almost 48 yearly old, I am done with that shit.  Socially Savvy or not, I will no longer make excuses or allow for people to point the finger while ignoring their mistakes and expecting me and mine to cover their inability to own their mistakes.   Now, I have to say if this had all stayed in the back burner I probably would have delt with it differently, but when from one side of their mouth they spout how "honorable they are and their integrity doesn't allow them to talk socially about businesses" while the other side of their mouth is spewing socially their one sided point of view, I find my tolerance at an end.  Everything in me wants to shut them down.  Everything in me wants to say you are a big part of the very problem you like to point out in others.  I find myself disliking human
beings and the ignorance that we perpetuate
because this individual at this time embodies all that is so very wrong with society today.  
     Pointing a finger and denying any responsibility for their own actions.  And I had called them friend.  I wanted to vomit.  I wanted to cry out at the injustice and stupidity of the world.... the selfishness that our society claims at this time that is paralizing us from evolving.  The sheer greed of simply wanting money and something we were not willing to earn.  
I literally look around looking for a "glitch", as surely I must be in the matrix!  
I walk away from everyone at the job site and take a breath as I finish reading my friends comments, all the while knowing they believe this guy.  They believe we are capable of having no integrity, and its heart breaking. 
     I take a deep breath and realize I can't change anything at the moment so simply reach out to the friend and see if they want to talk and know both sides or are content believing this guy.  I got my answer later that day when they didn't call like they said they would.  We all make choices.  We didn't make the cut.  At least that is how it seems at the end of the day.  Only time will tell now.
     This all before 9am.  
     At this time I am just wanting to drive straight home and crawl into bed and wait for tomorrow, I'm over it, but I have a cycle class I committed to, and I do have integrity so I go.  
     Now if you have never taken a cycle class what you should know is that a good one simply guides you on your own journey, what ever that may be that day.  And on this day I was already beat down so didn't know how I would get Thru 40 of 600+ calories of burning, but I couldn't think about that.  I had committed so I had to do it. Not just for them, but for me.
     I arrive 50 min before class.  
Let me reiterate..... I REALLY don't like people in the morning, so I sit in silence in my car trying to relax from the disturbance of the morning.  Emails, to do lists, random thoughts that come into my mind I post and I wait for my class time to draw near.  Finally 9:20 comes and I leave my car for the daunting task of cycle class ahead of me.  
     I walk in and am greeted by a friendly face and then another of the face of my instructor Heather - my tour guide if you will.  She sees me and greets me with a hug.  Sometimes I think she sees into my soul and knows I show up for class as much for a release of stress as I do for a workout and she always knows just what to say to keep me from running out the door to hide and find a place to cry at all the travesty and injustice in the world vs setting up my bike to ride for the next 50 min of my life, to a better place than where I started.  
     As I do just that, the music and class starts and I let all the crap of imperfect humans dissolve in the dark.  
There is a red neon sign that says "Cyclebar" and I fixate on that as I push myself the the physical limits on this particular day,  I push so hard that at one point I can't breath and want to vomit.  I feel like if I can push hard enough I can change something...  ANYTHING!  and the class goes on as I struggle to catch a breath I am not sure I can find.  
     And then class is over.  613 calories burned from the lovely shenanigans of the family weekend vacation indulgence and the painful stress of unkind and selfish people.  I have reset my mind body and soul.  I am not greater nor am I less that who I was.  I am simply whole again.  What ever that looks like from outside, inside I find a moment of peace.  
     Not quite ready to actually talk to other people, I walk thru a couple stores at the town center and plan out what I have to do the rest of the day and who I would like to include for the rest of the day.  
     One meeting to sell boxes to a stranger, purging "things" from my life and a surprise call from a friend to meet me after wards.  
     In my class I had decided to own the future of my day, and with in minuets I had made it happen.
     Items sold, friend arrives and we move on to acquire items for 3 charity events,  Followed by wine tasting and a dinner on the deck with the view of a lovely setting of fountains and golf greens while the sky's above speak to the fires and smoke of the north that have traveled all the way from Canada to haze our sky's.  
     And ominous reference to me of my morning, I notice the sun is still shining brightly and I take a cue from it and chose to shine with the help of my friend.
     She has no idea her impact or how much she means to me at this moment but I  grateful for her unyielding friendship at this time.  As we sit outside is the hot heat of a setting sun so rare for our area I find a light heartedness and gratitude for the moment.  And a realization that if I had not decided to change the path my day was on, that my day could have a very different ending.
     As I said at the beginning, this was a long story, but I felt that it may speak to someone.  Someone who may be feeling lost, or angry, or betrayed or misunderstood.  That in reading my story they might find a clue in how to weather their "storm" of a day, a week or God forbid a month" 
     As I get ready to lay my head down to rest, I find the contentment I yearned for in the morning, yet allowed someone else's remarks to make me question who I am.  Who my family is.  Don't make that mistake.  Because who ever it is that makes you feel that way probably doesn't mean it that way or is to lost in their own disparity to see anything but their own views and you were never going to change that anyways.
     Honor yourself, push yourself to be the best, fix your mistakes and own your will then find peace at the end of a day to sleep easy and prepare for tomorrow, for yesterday is history and today is done.... tomorrow is your gift so embrace it.
      I hope this touches who it's ment to and empowers you to get thru what ever is in front of you.  
     And as always, Make Everything Better Because you are Part of it!  

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Wonder Woman ~ Some Savvy Thoughts to Remember

     With the already HUGE success of this movie, there is already so much talk of the Women empowering qualities of what it stands for and How women feel about them selves.  The timing could not be more perfect.  And So, without using the word “But”, I will say this….. DON’T MISS THE OVER ALL POINT!  But I jump ahead a bit, so let me explain.

     Those of us who grew up in the 70’s and early 80’s remember all the wonder woman shows, JLA cartoons, and so so many comic books that took us on adventures of compassion, fighting for what we believe in, actual greek history, and yes learning how to believe in our selves and finding our strengths.  But let’s not forget what she stood for as a entity.  

     Truth, to which the lasso allowed her to get from people.  Strength, which she used to protect and help ALL people.  Beauty, which shined from the inside not just her outward appearance.  Compassion, Empathy, Fierceness, Conviction and Wisdom, all of which shows us the necessity of balance to be effective.  She led and empowered troops to fight, she protected and shielded innocents from harm, she drove and pursued for the truth and she learned and applied that wisdom in her decisions.  She shows us there are no short cuts, only drive, determination, knowledge, understanding, compassion and fortitude.  

     So, back to my point.  If we want to find our inner Wonder Woman, we must strive to be greater than ourselves, greater than our angers, greater than our fears and lear to embrace and extend ourselves to all around us.  In a word, stop the exclusions and start inclusion.  The over all point, embrace all around us who love and unite us. 

     One simple reminder however, remember to identify the evil in the world and recognize, it is rarely as we believe it should appear.  Be wise, educate yourself and always have Love in your heart.  The hate will twist you and change you.  You must stay true to you.  

As always, just my thoughts.  “Remember, make everything better because you are here”
Have A Socially Savvy Week, Month and Year!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Socially Savvy Attitude Adjustment

  It's the middle of May 2017, and reading through Social Media, speaking with people and watching people interact, I find my brain screaming "We need a Social Attitude Adjustment"!  
We as people have moved to tearing down, degrading, assuming the worst and over all despising people because they don't believe what we believe, see things the way we see them or bow down to their way of thinking.  If your not a bully then your bullied.  If your not someones kind of right, your wrong.  If you have a different view, thought or intention then you are the enemy.  WE NEED TO STOP!
     We need to Adjust our Attitude and here is why....

     From a practical point of view.  Nothing is gained by assuming the worst in peoples intentions.  You may from time to time avoid an issue, but most people don't have malicious intentions, so when you assume they do you create a drama that flares like a sun burst!  Recognizing bad intentions and steering away from them is always wise, but assuming the negative without actually knowing hurts everyone.

     From a relationship point of view.  If your intention is to never have relationships with people then by all means assuming people are trying to hurt or degrade you will make sure no one stays within a mile radius of you.  If you WANT relationships with other humane beings you have to remember that how they communicate, what they feel, their life path to date, loves and passions all come thru when they feel intensely about something.  Assuming that, while the presentation and be intense, the thoughts are with the hope of understand and communications ideas, thoughts, opinions and feelings so they are able to grow in the relationship.  ( did you mind just explode?)

     From a Social point of view.  This one is kind of easy.  Socially, everything is very much at the surface, so assuming that people have the best of intentions instead of the worst simply allows you to be the kind loving person you are ( or want to be), and so will be perceived that way.  If you allow others to change that in you then it reflects on YOU.  You control how you perceive and interact with people, don't let them control you.  

     And finally from a personal health point of view.... this might be the most important one to consider.  Physical, mental and spiritual health are all tied to how you allow people to treat you, but more importantly how YOU treat people and receive what people send your way.  The Blunt truth is that the more you insist on seeing the good in people and their intentions, the healthier it is for you.  If others intentions are ill intended then simply moving away from those people is probably the best option, because seriously, how many times has full on confrontation's really gained anyone anything other than an ulcer, heart attack or stress!!!

     Adjust Your attitude and you will find that you have a "Socially Savvy Attitude" that will draw people to you not repel them from you.

     As I always say, "Make Everything better Because You were there!"

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Socially Savvy 7 Day Challenge ~ Making A Positive Dent

 We wake up each day with a boat load of things to get done, people to see, relationships to start, build and even end,  and most of the time we end the day realizing we have been running crazy and the day was a blur.  It seems that only when strong emotions are triggered do we stop to take notice and usually those strong emotions are negative.  Someone has irritated us, mistreated us or through their lack of awareness let us slip thru the cracks.  This poses a problem if we are to create a more positive culture.  We have to become aware.  But how do we do that?  How do we change our "Status Quo"
            Think about this for a moment.  All the businesses…. restaurants, lounges, department stores, repair shops,  construction companies, postal services………. All the business associates, mechanics, grocery clerks, sales associates, wait staff, garbage men and customer service people that make our lives easier and nicer on a day to day or visit to visit basis.  How often do you let them know you appreciate what they do?  Do you just expect it to be fab every time?  Now what if you stopped and said something positive "Every" time?  Think about it.
            We all need that positive reinforcement that what we are doing is making a difference in someone’s lives so someone needs to be the catalyst for this……will it be you?  Take time over the next 7 days to look the people in the eye that serve you and say “thank you”.  Follow up with a Review on Google or Yelp, a customer service letter or comments to their manager.  If you received a swag bag at an event,  goto the event Host's page and thank them!  Hyperlink your favorite swag sponsor's and thank them too!  Best is to commit it to digital or physical writting's so they can see it over and over again, to remind them that what they do makes a difference, and so that others may know what their strength are as well.  
            1 week to focus on the positive…… I wonder what will become of it…….
     And Don't forget to #Apositivedent


Sunday, May 8, 2016

“Communicate Don’t Opinionate ~ LB Dutchess”

     It amazes me these days just how intolerant and misguided we have become as a country.  I say country because while the rest of the world is not necessarily all that much better than us, they don't seem to be wallowing in the murky depths of misunderstanding that we seem to be.  

     Let me explain.  

     Because of social media, text and blogging (not to mention normal face to face interactions) we as a country say ALOT.  I mean ALOT!  We voice our opinions more times in a day that most people eat in a week in the rest of the world and we make one critical mistake...... We think we are communicating.  WRONG MISTERRRRRR!  We are "Opininating".  Yes, that is correct "Opinionating" and yes I made that up.  What is "Opininating" you might ask, well here is my definition ~ speaking, writing or otherwise relaying information about a view or judgment we have formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge without thought of if the information is being received.  

     We as a society "Opinionate" ALOT.  Now this is where I will lose some of you because this is where you get really confused and think your communicating.  

     Define Communication ~ 1. the imparting or exchanging of information or news. 2. means of connection between people or places.  

     Here is the kicker ~ in order to TRULY communicate, the other person has to HEAR you!  
A~HA!  I got you!  A large percentage of us forget to actually pay attention and see if the people we are "Opinionating" to can actually "hear us" and create connumication!  
    Think of it like this, It's like that static on the old black and white TV's when the channels used to go off the air and when poltergeist comes thru your TV!  And it has the same effect too..... all we want to do is turn it off or run screaming from it!  How is that communicating???  

     SO!  When you go to share information or views take a moment to look at why and how you are going about it.  Are you insulting people?  Are you intolerant?  Are you yelling or gesturing like a crazy person?  Can people even get a word in edge wise or respond to your "post" without a national disaster?  Think about it.  IF you want to be heard, you must first learn to listen and second learn to communicate, and THAT requires you to be able to do more that just state your opinions ("Opinionating")

    So, in a nutshell ~ Be Savvy and Communicate.  

     Till next time ~ Make everything better because you are here!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Do you reciprocate right away? Be Part of the Socially Savvy Give & Give movement

     Today I posted this question "Thoughtful question of the day..... When you reach out to people to ask for their help or ask something of them do you take the time right away to see what you can do for them or help them with too?" 

     And it got me thinking.... We have time to ask for what we want or need yet all to often we 'Don't have time right now', or "Will get that for you as soon as I finish....".   Are we really that self centered?  Have we as a culture really gotten to the point where we have time to go get our coffee, comment on social media platforms on mems and photos but can't seem to find the time to follow up with supporting people whom we want are or expect help from?

     It's a small thing and if you use social media it can be a simple thing.  So I challenge you today to check out peoples time lines that you have asked favors, product, $ or support from and see what you can share and support that they have going on.  Be part of the Socially Savvy Give & Give movement.  Someone gives you time, energy, $ or support, give it back to them.  

     Make Today Better Because you are Here!