Why FEAR is Socially Savvy ~ Extended version

  It has been very interesting over the last few months to see the word Fear put out there and how it is being used.  Some people use fear to manipulate and control you, getting you to react without thinking.  And many people are threatened and paralyzed by fears... but there are those few that step back, detach from the emotion fear brings and find success and insight.  So how do you do that?  Well here is my perspective on doing just that.
    Fear is the illusion of everything that could go wrong but doesn't need to.  It gives us a hyper link into what to avoid or look to plan around.  It is not set in stone, nor does it hold any control over us.  One of the most amazing definitions of fear I have ever heard came from the Movie "After Earth" ~ 
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”  Will Smith 
    So with that said, how do we use Fear as a Hyper link to a successful future?   How do we use it to make great decisions  We look at Fear as a warning sign if you will.  When you see a sign ahead that says "danger, no shoulder" do we drive off the road or simply pay a bit more attention?  When we see a fire engine and smoke, do we douse ourselves with water or look around to make sure the fire can't spread to where we are?  Now onto a more personal perspectives….. When you see a handsome guy or beautiful girl across the room do you hang your head and tell yourself they are out of your class or do you put your best smile on and go for it?  I got you there didn't I!  So what is they key?  Why is it the more personal of an impact something has, the more personal the threat perceived is, we hold tighter to the fear instead of celebrating the possibility of success and looking for answers to avoid it?  Because we have learned to Fear NO, above all.  We are afraid of rejection instead of learning from it and becoming stronger.  It boils down to this…..EVERYTHING we do is a choice and EVERYTHING we do has the possibility of success and failure.  Letting Fear TELL you you will fail instead of using fear to know what to avoid is the key in my eyes.  Analyze, decide and act.  Let life do the rest.  What are a few mistakes to a Life full of fears unrealized because you didn't let it stop you.
Have A Socially Savvy week! And make Everything Better BECAUSE You were there!  

A Savvy “Thought” for the Day ~ How do you use your memory?”

     Today is throw back thursday and as I am sharing some of the pictures I took in the past of my kids ~ most of one in particular because he is away and I miss him!  I find my self smiling and laughing at the memories attached to them.  Catching the moments that give you a peak into their personalities was one of my most favorite things ever back then, because I knew that years later I could share those moments and relive the happiness of them when I saw them. 

     It’s one of the great gifts of having a memory!  

     The other great gift of memory is to learn from past experiences that were less than positive.  Taking those experiences, make adjustments and create new happier memories because of the lessons learned.  But far to often I see people wasting their lives hand picking the negative memories they have.  Dwelling on them, festering them into the ugly weights holding them back from moving on, or reaching back to find bits and pieces they can put together to justify being cruel, mean or hateful from times gone by.  These are the memories that are destroying our country now.  These are the memories that hold us back.  The only answer is to Let go of all the hurtful, painful and destitute memories just as you would a hot burning coal and move on to healing the burns so you can move forward and make beautiful memories with those around you.  


     Make YOUR life BETTER BECAUSE you are here……. Happy Thursday All! 

Are you as Savvy with your “No’s” as you are with your “Please’s”

     Today it is amazing how many people we can reach out to in moments.  We can communicate with hundreds of people in a day if we choose to.  People reach out with their causes, their businesses, their passions and their interests.  But how many of you will RESPOND to others that reach out to you?  

     I know the first response to this by many people will be “I get so many requests”, yet they will take time to reach out and ask for what they want and need without following up to others reaching out to them.  They are quick to send out their ‘Please’, but non responsive to other’s.  Their time is to valuable to respond.  They were to busy.  And this, my friends, is the saddest “NO” you will ever receive or send.  It is the NO that comes from no response.  It is the NO that they didn’t take time to tell you.  

     So I say….. Take time to kindly respond even when the answer is No.  It shows respect to the people you are responding to.  Kindly give what you expect to receive…. A response to your “Please”.

     And remember to make Every event Better BECAUSE you were There!  

Be Socially Savvy ~ PAY ATTENTION

     I had a friend I had not seen in awhile come up to me yesterday and say “I miss hearing you do your Socially acceptable and unacceptable blogs”!  I had to laugh, because I too missed them, so here we go with this weeks topic.  PAYING ATTENTION.

     Let me explain.  When your out Socially at an event like a Charity, a Party or even just a basic gathering of people the MAIN thing you have to do is PAY ATTENTION!  Here is why… So you DON’T become Socially unacceptable in your behavior!  Seems simple enough right?  Well, its not apparently.  

     Paying attention requires you to not get stupid drunk or be so self absorbed that you think you and what you want, need and desire is more important than what others want, need and desire.  
     So here are some guide lines to think about when going out.

1.)  Be aware of your surroundings.  I have been to soooo many events where people just dump their belongings where ever, not paying attention to what they are dropping their stuff on!  Things like coats on other peoples purses in seating areas and drinks and purses on vendor display tables at charity events.  I mean REALLY?  What is is about books spread out on a table on display that is in any way confusing about NOT putting your stuff on them?  It’s like you sitting down in a chair and I decide I am going to sit on you!!!  JUST DON”T!  And if you have a Question about if you can put your stuff down.....ASK!!!

2.) DON”T TALK OVER SPEAKERS!  This is the most annoying thing ever.  A Charity chair gets up and starts to speak about the charity and in the front row someone decides their conversation about the neighbors dog is more important. WOW.  Make sure you know the purpose of the event you are at and if their is a cause behind it, BE AWARE of when the cause is being spoken about and shut up.  I get that you bought a ticket to the event, but your their to support the event, so do it!

3.) READ YOUR INVITES!  Paying attention to the details of the event can either make you look like the star or the resident moron.  Little things like specifics of attire or theme to the event are put in place to create the spirit and feel of the event!  Don’t be the ass that thinks they should be able to wear what ever they want.  To quote Maleficent “I Hate you”.  Funny but not, lets be real here a min.  It’s not your event, so just adhere to the attire requests and don’t be an a-hole.

4.) Move with decisivness.  Seriously slow down the more you drink!  Enhance your calm!  Spilling your drinks on people, stepping on their feet, running into them, dropping your food on people is all a result of NOT Paying attention!  Watch where you are walking, be aware and for pete sakes, if you DO run in to someone, APOLOGIZE!!!  The same goes with making ANY of the above mistakes!  Be Gracious and apologize and work to make amends or make it better!  It’s that simple.  

     Think of it this way, IF it was YOUR house, YOUR friends, YOUR event….. How would you want people to act.

     Have a Socially Savvy Week and Make Every Event BETTER BECAUSE You were there!  

LB Dutchess Socially Savvy: Socially Savvy ~ Back in the Saddle

LB Dutchess Socially Savvy: Socially Savvy ~ Back in the Saddle: Hello!  It's been awhile since I have shared, but I am back!  Today I want to chat about jumping back in the saddle after stepping out! ...

Socially Savvy ~ Back in the Saddle

Hello!  It's been awhile since I have shared, but I am back!  Today I want to chat about jumping back in the saddle after stepping out!  
     So very often in life we get started down a path that fires up our life!  It brings us alive as we move forward sharing our dreams and visions with those around us.  But inevitably, life seems to get in the way and we find ourselves having to step away from those dreams for a bit and many never find their way back or are afraid to dive in again.  And I found myself asking why.  Here's what I came up with.....
     IT IS SOCIALLY SAVVY OF YOU TO STEP BACK INTO YOUR DREAMS AND VISIONS ANYTIME YOU WANT..... PERIOD!
     There is NOTHING socially that makes sense to feel like you should not.  I know all to often people will make you feel differently, but you can step back into the ring without explanation anytime you want.  You don't owe anyone anything.  
     I say this, because at several different times across the last 7 years it has happened to me.  I have a family and am still married after 25 years, and sometimes I have to make them a priority over everything else.  I have been called "socially irrelevant" because I had to step back for a time, I have been told maybe I should try something different or to move on.  But here is the bottom line.... Those people have NOTHING to do with my vision so why should I let them have a say in when, where, why and how.  
     So I say to you, Follow your dreams and visions when and how you please.  Don't worry about what others say when you have to step back for a bit.  You don't see the Sun shinning any less brightly because it was behind the clouds for a time do you?  Shine Bright and share who you are!  Get back in the saddle and ride forward!  
     And Remember to make Everything Better because you are here!!!