Do you value others as you do yourself?

     This question has rumbled around in my head for weeks.  Being surrounded by so many motivated, make it happen, movin and shakin, go-getting people it occurred to me….. Why isn’t everyone rich?  They have talent, they are Socially likable, they are well connected…. then why?  Why do they seem to stand still?  As the days passed and I started looking deeper and deeper the answer started to emerge in my mind like Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake….slowly…. definitively….. and with a warning.  What emerged was ill placed value.  So many people with so much talent just taking…… Charismatic for sure, which is why they can seem to take from people and leave them with a smile on their face until those very same people realize that they got nothing from the interaction except taken advantage of and devalued. 

            Then I looked at my self in the mirror and found I was a fool too.  For example, I am a photographer.  I shoot events.  I try to bring a piece of the event, take a piece of a person and wrap as much of life into it so that when you look back at it you have some kind of idea what was going on.  I leave a piece of who I am with each click…. quite happily I may add.  The better I got the move people loved my photo’s, but then a funny thing happened.  While they liked my pictures and were more than happy to ask me to take time to get more pictures of them, edit them and then send them to them they would get agitated with me when I would not just jump on the opportunity to serve them without charge or exchange.  I was stunned at first thinking maybe my work was not quite good enough yet or maybe they put more into their profession that I did…..then I got mad.  Not at them, but at me…. I was devaluing myself and so they were too.  Can I tell you how many times people TELL me to use my talent to get great pictures of them for their use or purpose but then offer their services at full price?  Countless.  Now I only use myself as an example, not to whine about it, but to make a point.  I value the services and talents of those around me and as such usually wait until I feel there is equal value in trade before asking favors, but this is not the way of the world and so I say to you now it’s time to change that. 

            Value: the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something.  The material or monetary worth of something. 

            Value is a powerful thing.  Now here comes the warning….. Value yourself as you do others and other’s as you do yourself.  Do not think your blood, sweat and tears of any less importance, as those in your peer group or YOU are the fool.  If you are a friend, encourage the truth in the value, but feel no pity if they themselves do not value themselves.  This is a battle you must win with you and decide yourself.

            Now when you do win and decide… NEVER forget the lesson and always look to recognize the value in others.  Become the answer not the problem. 

Socially Savvy Service

     Ok folks!  We pay for it so why don’t we get better service?  I believe it is because people have gotten lazy and expect something for nothing, so I think it’s time we re-define what service should be and why we tip.

            By Definition

Service: the action of helping or doing work for someone • an act of assistance: • assistance or advice given to customers during and after the sale of goods:

• The action or process of serving food and drinks to customers. 

Tip: a sum of money given to someone as a reward for their services.

With today’s economy being what it is, the service you provide can be key to your work success – so what do people look for in Savvy Service? 

Here are some of the top items:

1.)   Listening!  If you can’t listen and understand the details of what people are saying you are doomed.  You must listen to the words people use and clarify when necessary.  There is a huge difference between I would like a booth and I require a booth.

2.)    Follow thru – when forgotten, it’s the killer.  In order to maintain good service you have to learn the needs and then provide for them – This is the Heart of service, the very essence of what people are paying for so take the time to get it right. 

3.)   Be happy & excited to do your job – “to serve” or get out of the job.  You do no one, especially yourself, any justice by doing a poor job because of lack of enthusiasm.  Find something to love about your job and focus on that or quite.

4.)   Learn your industry & anticipate needs this here is how you get great tips!  If you suggest what I may need or anticipate it with out me asking you have taken your service to the next level and have ensured your “reward/tip” If you don’t even do the “minimal” of what is known to be standard then why would we even bother with you or your company

5.)   Thank you’s.  Let people know you appreciate them working with you instead of the competition! 

6.)   Fix errors with grace and in a timely manor.  We understand things go wrong and that we are all humane beings and make mistakes.  When this happens, simply be upfront, fix it and be gracious.  It is easy for people to be gracious and understanding back when you haven’t flared their irritation with excuses or ignorance. 

7.)    You want a competitive edge on everyone else?  Read books like the 5 love languages & the power of positive thinking – improve your mind and outlook as well as understand how people think!   You can’t serve what you don’t understand!

Social Food for though: Being Socially Savvy in Service means being aware – it is not about you but rather those you are serving

Fun Fact's on some of our Favorite Holiday traditions & Sweets!

     Ever wondered "why" on some of the things you do, eat and use during the Holidays?  Well here are some of the answers as found across the internet!

      Candy Cane Facts

The first candy cane was made over 350 years ago.

The original candy cane had a shape different then what we see today, It was straight, all white, and hard.

National candy cane day is celebrates on December 26 in the United States.

The first historical reference in America to the candy cane dates back to 1847. A German immigrant from Wooster, Ohio decorated his Christmas tree with candy canes.

The red and white striped candy canes were first made around 1900.

The traditional candy cane flavor is peppermint, however, it is also made in a variety of other flavors and colored stripes.

Over 1.76 billion candy canes are made each year.

The biggest candy cane ever made was 36 feet 7 inches.

Nearly 2 billion candy canes will be sold in the four weeks before Christmas and Hanukkah.

Christmas Tinsel

      Around 1610, tinsel was first invented in Germany made from genuine silver. Machines were invented that shredded silver into thin tinsel-sized strips. Silver tinsel tarnishes and loses its shine with time, eventually, artificial replacements were invented. The original inventor of tinsel remains unknown.

The History of Christmas Lights

     The tradition of using small candles to light up the Christmas tree dates back to at least the middle of the XVIIth century. However, it took two centuries for the tradition to become widely established first in Germany and soon spreading to Eastern Europe.

      Candles for the tree were glued with melted wax to a tree branch or attached by pins. Around 1890, candleholders were first used for Christmas candles. Between 1902 and 1914, small lanterns and glass balls to hold the candles started to be used.

Holiday Attire Tips & Trends 2011

Socially Savvy got together with Kim Crumpler of Uniquely Savvy and Count Kody Tuwaletstiwa to chat Trendy fun Holiday Attire and simple ways to transition everyday work attire to Holiday Party attire!  Here is what we got!

Lady’s~

            Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle is what it’s all about!  Sparkle can dress up anything; it’s as easy as putting on sparkle earrings, necklace, bracelets and rings! 

This year bold color is back for the Holidays!   Color’s pop when you take soft textures like saint and layering them with bold dense fabrics.  Pencil skirts, flowing dress pants, Belts, platform heels and chunky pearls all make great Holiday looks!

The little red dress is the core of the season replacing the little black dress for a short time!  These can be found almost anywhere right now!

Hoisery is back!  Lace, texture, color and design can be an easy piece to change out to go from workday to Holiday!  

Leather is in – fun skirts and leather worked in to outfits add’s rich finish to your look. 

Some easy ways to transition business wear to Holiday:

1.) Change out gold or silver earrings, bracelets and necklaces for crystal colors!  Red’s, blues, greens and even the elegance of clear and white stones picks up the light!

2.) Change out shoes from basics to platform, patent leather goes well with anything and even if you’re bold enough, go red!

3.) Change out your blouse/shell under a jacket for a sequin top in bold color or metallic colors to add wow!

4.) Add a fun hat, swap a decorative shawl for a jacket or wrap yourself in pearls!

            Back up in the car for those last min invites for the Ladies would be: a pair of sparkle earrings, bracelet & necklace, extra pair of hosiery, a pair of black pumps and some kind of sparkle top!  You can use these to glam up Jeans and get away with attending almost any Holiday party.  Add in a pencil skirt and you’re a sure win for any party.

            Men’s~

The secrets to Well dressed men are Attention to detail.  Well fitted and styled– you own it, otherwise the clothes are wearing you.

French cuff shirts are great for showing off your cuff links – these are the men’s place of personnel style where you can really throw your personality into it!  From theme – ie frogs to flags, to colored stones it doesn’t matter! 

Men’s shirts are where you can be bold with color and texture as well.  Accent the ladies with shirt’s reflecting the color’s of the season!

Open neck – unbuttoned top with ascot’s and scarves. 

Bow tie is in as well.

Make sure your shoes are shined! Pant’s are pressed and well fitted, shirts are wrinkle free and jacket arm lengths are correct. 

Back up in your car?  We suggest a clean pressed shirt, cuff links, belt, shoes, fun tie, scarf, pocket scarf to dress up for last min holiday invites! 

           

You almost can’t over dress for the Holidays so be bold and have fun!

Socially Stupid

 

Yes… I can’t believe I am even writing a piece titled Socially Stupid, but that just goes to show how often it is happening, soooooo with that in mind, apparently we need some guidelines and boundaries inn which to pass on to friends and…… not such friends, so we can start to see some change.

            So where to start.  Well, to begin with, being social means you want to be in the company of other people.  So it stands to reason that doing anything to cause people to NOT want to be around you would constitute as Socially Stupid.   Define Stupid as lacking intelligence or common sense • dazed and unable to think clearly, and you have a basis in which to start.  Here are some prime examples:

            Always having something negative to say.  This should go without saying, and yet I am saying it.  People are faced with negative everyday…. Someone yelling because they forgot a file, whining because the have to do their job, cant’ go on the trip to Cancun…. And the list goes on.  If we WANT to hear negative, all we have to do is turn on the News, so when you go into a social setting have positive topics already picked out to chat on.  This does not go to say that if you are going thru tough times you can’t speak of it, but if you are being honest about being in a “not so great place” make sure to focus on the thing’s that your doing to get thru it and out of it.  Use your tough times to inspire not bring on pity.   Now with close friends I understand venting, but go in a corner away from everyone else if you must.  Don’t affect others around you with Dower talk. 

            Arriving coughing and hacking!  Nothing drives people away faster than being sick and if your coughing and hacking your spreading germ’s at over 300 miles per hour across the room!  If you can’t control it with med’s…..stay home. 

            Assuming ANYTHING!  Let’s say this together ASS – U – Me.  When you assume you are either perceived as thoughtless, clueless, manipulative or just downright rude!  There is nothing like the phrase “I thought” to induce the retaliation “apparently you don’t think”. 

            If it’s not yours don’t touch it.  I feel like I am talking to a 1^st grade class when I say this, but people just seem to think they are entitled to take and touch things that don’t belong to them!  Just DON’T! 

            Bragging about everything that you have!  There is a fine line between sharing and bragging!  If you got everything going on and no worries in the world, then In conversation it is easy to “temper” how you chat about where you are and what is going on…..i.e. – “John, I hear you just moved into your new place”…Don’t say – “Yeah!  It’s 3500 square feet of pure luxury!  I got swimming pools, spa tub’s, 2 kitchens with 200k in granite counter tops!”…….Try “Yes, I am very excited to settle in, it’s perfect for what we wanted”.    2 thing’s come out of bragging.  One – you look like an inconsiderate shallow ass and two; you become the “negative talk” of the party. 

Debate & discussion vs. spouting opinions.  When chatting on any subject, if your mental attitude is “I don’t give a ‘sh*# what you think”….then you probably should not speak.  A Debate or dissuasions celebrates different opinions, thoughts feelings and vision, if you can’t appreciate that then your only going to “vomit” your remarks on people and SHOW them how little you care about them.  It’s all about your state of mind.

            Talk about how great your company is by putting down another company.  This goes for talking bad about others too.  This happens far to often and we rarely know the people we are talking with well enough to know if perhaps maybe a friend or relative might work for that company or know that person.  There is nothing less appealing than having to put someone or something down to prove your worth.  Focus on the positive attributes and avoid belittling and negative all together.

            Recommendations of what not to talk about due to today’s economy:

           

1.)   Having to work harder at your job….. there are soooo many people without job’s right now you may not even know that someone standing with you has just lost their job and would LOVE to be working!  Realize your blessings in having a job even if your Boss is an ass and focus on the good things about your employment…. Co-workers, clients, performance etc.

2.)   Living arrangements… with sooooo many people losing their homes I just shy away from direct questions about where they are living and how.  I recently heard after an event that one of the people whom had attended was currently homeless…..

So to summarize think of Socializing like Ice Skating…. You must come prepared, tread lightly, maintain balance and move with Grace or you may find yourself crashing down into a cold dark place from which you might not come out alive…..

Here are some Socially Savvy Hint’s of the Do's and Don'ts when Social Networking

Here are some Socially Savvy Hint’s of the Do's and Don'ts when Social Networking

Do's:

              Use your faculties proportionately.  You have one mouth and 2 ears…. listen twice as much as you speak.  People want to be heard and want to feel that you find what they have to say important.  One of the surest ways of doing that is to listen twice as much as you speak.  You will also find that you learn more!

            Maintain eye contact – This shows interest and respect.  If you are looking at body parts or constantly scanning the room they believe you are bored with them or that you find what they have to say as insignificant.  Learn to focus on what people have to say by first focusing your eyes.

            Be prepared – Know how you want to be perceived and what kind of work you want to be remembered for.  Have a clear sense of your business, goals & abilities as well as making sure your business cards are ready “when requested” ……cards should be asked for not offered.  Offered assumes too much.  Asked for imply’s real interest.  Value your cards like $1 dollar bills!

            Be inviting and complementary.  In Social Networking this alone can take away some of the aquwardness of meeting strangers and actually give you a way of breaking the ice to start conversation. 

            Have good communication skills –

Definition of Communication: “the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.” it’s now always what you say, its how you say it.  This is one topic I could ramble on for days!  Don’t be in such a hurry to get the facts out on the table that you forget to present them in a way someone “not of your industry” can “get”.  KISS – Keep it simple stupid in your presenting of what you do and that alone will do wonders for your business

            Be your Best - Face it: People size you up during the first 15 seconds after you are introduced, sometimes even before as you are walking across the room!  Pay attention to details like being clean cut, pressed clothing, color coordinated and clothes as well fitted as you can afford.  Watch things like Jewelry and accessories so you don’t present the wrong impression. 

                                  

Don’ts:

Get to close to people when you are talking.  Many people have insecurities about people being in their “bubble” and it is easy to get people on the defensive if you stand to close!  Maintain a good arms length away and try not to lean into people when you speak…. especially if you are taller.  Again, if you want them to hear what you have to say they have to be comfortable.

            Interrupt when people are already engaged in conversation unless invited.  To many times people will walk up right in the middle of a conversation and interrupt.  This is 2 no-nos in one.  First, you are showing both people that you believe you are more important than they are.  Second they will assume you will do the same to them.  Not the first thoughts you want in someone’s head about you.

            Correct people.  It leaves a bad impression even & especially if you are right.  People have a hard enough time admitting when they are wrong and apologizing when in normal everyday going’s on let alone in a networking setting.  Sometimes you have a simple choice….. To be right, or to be happy!  In this kind of setting, if you don’t already know them, let them figure it out on their own. 

            Don't ramble or go off-track when describing your work objectives..So many times people get so excited about what they do that they go into “story telling” mode.  This can wreck havoc on people’s ability to “follow” what exactly it is that you do! So know your point and gently stick to it.

            Hard sell…..can’t believe I even have to talk about this.  Ram Roding your point down someone’s throat… preasuring them into your way of thinking…bullying him or her to do what you want will not work in this day and age. 

            Get Drunk – the number one WORST thing EVER you can do at a social networking event.  Nobody ever PLAN’S to get drunk at these events, yet someone always seems to.  Helpful hint to keep this from happening?  One Adult beverage to every 2 glasses of water!  It’s hard to get drunk when your flushing water thru you! 

HAPPY NETWORKING!

Hot Tip's to be Prepared for the Holiday's & Event's!

Every week more tip's will be added so check the list often!

1. Send out invites 2-3 week ahead so people have time to schedule – even save the date notices if you don’t have full details yet
2.  Look at your invites and RSVP or update maybe's at least a week ahead if at all possible – people are spending money and energy for food and beverage – appreciate their efforts by helping out with accurate RSVPing
3. Ladies – emergency Holiday pack – extra hosiery, deoderant, 1 pr silver 1 pr gold earrings, black high heels, fragrance & lipstick – that way you can be ready for any last min invites or attire malfunctions.
4. Men – emergency Holiday pack – deoderant, dress shirt, nice shoes & colognE
5.  Make all your appointments for services 5 -6 weeks in advance when possible! 
6.  Know your destination and parking accomidations – will you have to walk a long ways?  Weather issues?  Maybe carpool or take a taxi in.
7. If close up pictures are involved Don’t do anything major in diet or skin care 3 – 5 days before an event!  Avoid fried foods, Coca Cola & Chocolate to name a few as they trigger hormonal reactions that usually mean break out.  Facial’s, peels and treatments are designed to clarify and purge the skin so realize that it takes a few days for the results of those to be complete – make sure you ask your service provider details to be sure.
8. If buying Fragrance Gift sets don't wait....odd's are they will be gone the first week in December and they rarely if ever go on sale
9. Lose your car in the parking lot often?  Take out your camera phone and take a picture of the isle/level it's on!  
10. Take a day and pre- make & freeze your favorite party appetizers!  Put them on the med size disposable trays so you can grab one on short notice.
11. Hit up your favorite local wine tasting rooms and pick up some wines for gift giving.  Have a couple reds and whites bagged and ready to grab.
12. Got a party and no time to cook?  Utilize your favorite restaurant's and order app's to go!  Most places have great packages to take home "catered" food! ;)
13. Hard to hit all the Holiday Parties?  Get together with a couple friends and all throw a party together!  Don't miss out AND meet new people!
14. Dry ice is not just nice for Halloween – can make a fun beverage and add animation to your buffet tables – check with your local meat department to order – usually needs a 3 – 7 day lead time
15. Plan your music for arriving, chatting, dinner and dessert to keep the tempo of how you want things to go. 
16.  If you want your event to be memorable put out disposable camera’s so you guests can have fun clicking the night!
17. Can’t get around to seeing everyone you want each year?  Take a regular daily event and do it together with another family – early dinner on a week night, lunch on a Sunday!  
18. Holidays can stress you out just as much as be exciting – make sure to take a few hours a week to do the things that keep you calm and whole – running, yoga, reading anything! 
19. Be prepared to say no – It’s hard sometimes but be honest with friends and yourself
20. American’s throw away 75% of all the Christmas gifts they get…. Try something new – give people experiences & your time -  like show tickets, dinner out or create a road trip like wine  
21. Check your weather reports often so you know what kind of conditions you are heading out into 
    

Finding Your Socially Savvy

Being Socially Savvy is alot about understanding who you are and how you want to be perceived! 

Some Tips in Creating your own Savvy

1.     Identify how you want to be perceived & document for reference

      All the best self help books tell you to take & keep notes on what you want and where you want to be and being socially savvy is no different.

2.     Taylor your clothing to fit – its’ the details that make the difference.  The first introduction when you enter a room is how you look.  Be sure your look reflects what you want it to about who and what you are.

3.     Educate yourself ~ find out what the social circles you are wanting to be included in find relevant and interesting and brush up on info ~ what’s new, factual and fun

4.     Enjoy what you choose ~ If you are trying to create a “Savvy” persona you don’t like, it will never work - Figure out who you want to be and make it happen from the inside out!

5.     Finally ~ enjoy growing into yourself – that is the mot savvy of all!

What is Socially Savvy?

Socially Savvy is the concept of what it is to be Social today.  With so many opinion's , views and belief's how do you go about being Social?  Well, in my opinion it is very simple - learn to serve others, be interested in others and listen.  To be Social you have to be approachable and enjoyable to be around or you will soon find yourself standing alone!  So check out our Blog’s and Socially Savvy Blogtalk Radio show for tips, insite, great locations to socialize and beverage introductions and recommendations!  Lot’s of surprises and great info!