Yes… I can’t believe I am even writing a piece titled Socially Stupid, but that just goes to show how often it is happening, soooooo with that in mind, apparently we need some guidelines and boundaries inn which to pass on to friends and…… not such friends, so we can start to see some change.
So where to start. Well, to begin with, being social means you want to be in the company of other people. So it stands to reason that doing anything to cause people to NOT want to be around you would constitute as Socially Stupid. Define Stupid as lacking intelligence or common sense • dazed and unable to think clearly, and you have a basis in which to start. Here are some prime examples:
Always having something negative to say. This should go without saying, and yet I am saying it. People are faced with negative everyday…. Someone yelling because they forgot a file, whining because the have to do their job, cant’ go on the trip to Cancun…. And the list goes on. If we WANT to hear negative, all we have to do is turn on the News, so when you go into a social setting have positive topics already picked out to chat on. This does not go to say that if you are going thru tough times you can’t speak of it, but if you are being honest about being in a “not so great place” make sure to focus on the thing’s that your doing to get thru it and out of it. Use your tough times to inspire not bring on pity. Now with close friends I understand venting, but go in a corner away from everyone else if you must. Don’t affect others around you with Dower talk.
Arriving coughing and hacking! Nothing drives people away faster than being sick and if your coughing and hacking your spreading germ’s at over 300 miles per hour across the room! If you can’t control it with med’s…..stay home.
Assuming ANYTHING! Let’s say this together ASS – U – Me. When you assume you are either perceived as thoughtless, clueless, manipulative or just downright rude! There is nothing like the phrase “I thought” to induce the retaliation “apparently you don’t think”.
If it’s not yours don’t touch it. I feel like I am talking to a 1st grade class when I say this, but people just seem to think they are entitled to take and touch things that don’t belong to them! Just DON’T!
Bragging about everything that you have! There is a fine line between sharing and bragging! If you got everything going on and no worries in the world, then In conversation it is easy to “temper” how you chat about where you are and what is going on…..i.e. – “John, I hear you just moved into your new place”…Don’t say – “Yeah! It’s 3500 square feet of pure luxury! I got swimming pools, spa tub’s, 2 kitchens with 200k in granite counter tops!”…….Try “Yes, I am very excited to settle in, it’s perfect for what we wanted”. 2 thing’s come out of bragging. One – you look like an inconsiderate shallow ass and two; you become the “negative talk” of the party.
Debate & discussion vs. spouting opinions. When chatting on any subject, if your mental attitude is “I don’t give a ‘sh*# what you think”….then you probably should not speak. A Debate or dissuasions celebrates different opinions, thoughts feelings and vision, if you can’t appreciate that then your only going to “vomit” your remarks on people and SHOW them how little you care about them. It’s all about your state of mind.
Talk about how great your company is by putting down another company. This goes for talking bad about others too. This happens far to often and we rarely know the people we are talking with well enough to know if perhaps maybe a friend or relative might work for that company or know that person. There is nothing less appealing than having to put someone or something down to prove your worth. Focus on the positive attributes and avoid belittling and negative all together.
Recommendations of what not to talk about due to today’s economy:
1.) Having to work harder at your job….. there are soooo many people without job’s right now you may not even know that someone standing with you has just lost their job and would LOVE to be working! Realize your blessings in having a job even if your Boss is an ass and focus on the good things about your employment…. Co-workers, clients, performance etc.
2.) Living arrangements… with sooooo many people losing their homes I just shy away from direct questions about where they are living and how. I recently heard after an event that one of the people whom had attended was currently homeless…..
So to summarize think of Socializing like Ice Skating…. You must come prepared, tread lightly, maintain balance and move with Grace or you may find yourself crashing down into a cold dark place from which you might not come out alive…..